When Man Pays $12,000 To See Blink-182, God Laughs: A Rundown Of Fyre Festival

When Man Pays $12,000 To See Blink-182, God Laughs: A Rundown Of Fyre Festival

The music festival model has been slowly evolving away from its humble roots in promoting a bunch of varied musical acts at affordable prices into a machine focused more on catering to the wealthy. These days the big names in festivals are known more for their status when not taking copious amounts of drugs, as opposed to places you can afford to go to for the music AND to take copious amounts of drugs.

via Instagram

via Instagram

For those who have long since been priced out and have found ourselves on the outside looking in during music festival season, the disaster that befell on Fyre Festival was a beautiful gift of karma. What started as a luxury music festival promoted by Kendall Jenner and her associates, organized by Ja Rule, headlined by Blink-182, Migos, and Lil Yacthy, and hosted on a private island "once owned by Pablo Escobar" descend into madness, and mayhem. Or, translated from affluent English to standard English, "states of being mildly uncomfortable" and "mass bitching on Twitter." The laundry list of things that went wrong is laughable. But here's the short version for those who want to play from home and have the proper context to enjoy some truly amazing tweets.

Start with incredibly wealthy people seduced by the prospect of feeling even more exclusive than they already were by the promises of what was pegged "the next Coachella." These incredibly wealthy people, seeing nothing wrong with paying an upwards of $12,000 for a festival promising headliners like Ja Rule and Blink-182 proceeded to pay said amount for tickets as early as December.

Meanwhile, Fyre Festival organizers continued to promise such luxuries as state of the art facilities with the finest catering money could buy. Rumblings began to emerge from an anonymous Twitter account in March that the festival might not exactly be on the up on up. This was followed by The Wall Street Journal reporting in early April that the festival organizers had already missed a series of deadlines; including the one to actually pay the people responsible for the "music" part of the music festival.

Photo by Amy Harris/Assoicated Press

Photo by Amy Harris/Assoicated Press

Everything finally came to a head on Thursday, the first and only day of Fyre Fest, when hundreds arrived at the Exuma section of the Bahamas, only to be stranded on an abandoned beach with only a cluster of tents for shelter. The high-class catering never came to fruition with the little matter of the company responsible, Starr Catering Group, not being paid earlier in the month and terminating their contract with the festival. The metaphorically (though it cannot be stressed enough, not literally) poor festival attendees were then forced to subsist on processed cheese sandwiches served in styrofoam boxes, use outhouses with dirty floors, lose their belongings, and everything else you might have had to deal with if your family couldn't afford to send you to private school. 

People were already bailing after word had gotten out that Blink-182 had pulled out of the festival the day before, but the exodus promptly revved up when the festival promoters announced the event was officially being postponed. Ja Rule has since publicly come out denying any kind of responsibility and insisting that that none of this was a scam; completely failing to realize that it's impossible for both of those statements to be true. Refunds are currently being promised, as well as VIP tickets to Fyre Festival 2018, which is hilarious at this time, still being promised very much as a thing. 

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